Children of today belong to the internet generation. Gone are the days of poring over thick books
for some obscure information. Today, information is literally at their fingertips. A click or a swipe is all they need. Dial-up phones have given way to smartphones and playing together no longer happens in parks and playgrounds. With internet, they can play with their friends on various devices such as tablets and phones.
While this may sound like a perfect existence, the cyberspace is not without risks and problems. These range from exposure to inappropriate content, such as pornography or violence, to grooming and cyberbullying. Plus, these dangers hide behind the screen of anonymity. They may become acquainted with a child by pretending to be their peers to gain their trust. When they are found out, it may be too late.
Some parents may feel that the best way to protect their children from these dangers is to ban internet access. However, this is neither practical nor feasible. The internet, like it or not, is an integral part of their lives. We do not ban driving to avoid accidents. Rather, we attend driving classes and get driving licenses so that we are safer drivers. The same goes with internet use. Education is the way to go.
8 ways to navigate the cyberspace
1. Start with open, honest conversations
Be curious about their cyber presence. Ask in a friendly tone about how they utilise the devices and what they do online. Talk about the content they watch. Remind them that not all that they see online is real.
Be wary if they say an adult is trying to connect with them. When it comes to online gaming, game manufacturers have their own built-in safety mechanisms. Some games with open servers block the chat function for children under the age of 13. Ensure that your child types in his or her real age to enable the function.
2. Set ground rules together
Set some ground rules together. Emphasise that this is for their own safety, but as parents, we need to abide by them as well.
- Age-appropriate screen time.
- When and where devices can be used, particularly on school nights.
- Be honest and report inappropriate content. Parents can also install internet nannies to minimise the risk of exposure.
3. Be firm, not cruel
Take an active interest in what your children are watching or playing and join them. Explain why certain contents or sites are deemed inappropriate. For shows or games, take the age category seriously. An eight-year old child should not be watching or playing a PG13 or 18SX show or game. Ask them what their friends are up to online, but do not judge or berate them.
Always be mindful of their need for privacy, especially teenagers. Maintaining a good relationship with them will ensure you a spot in their lists of friends and followers. Be respectful of what you post on their page. Telling them off or making fun of them online will cause undue embarrassment. If you are uncomfortable with something they posted, talk to them privately.
4. Critical thinking is key
Guide your child into analysing and questioning what they see on social media. Remind them not to be too flattered by compliments from strangers, not even when they claim to be of the same age with a matching profile photo. The internet affords anonymity and people can pretend to be someone else. Remind your child to be polite online and to never post photos that would expose their school or personal details.
5. Talk about digital footprints
The youth of today have a tendency to post everything on social media. Explain to them that this information is called a digital footprint and can be retrieved even after it has been deleted. Avoid posting sensitive photos. Ask them: “Would you be okay if your cikgu or grandma sees this post? If not, don’t post it.” Remind your teens that their future employers may see their disgraceful photos and that may diminish their chances of getting a job.
6. Point out online red flags
Teach them to trust their instincts and to always tell a trusted adult if something feels wrong. Help your child recognise danger signals, such as:
- Requests for personal information or private photos.
- Strangers asking to meet in person or offering gifts.
- Messages that feel “off” or make them uncomfortable.
7. Prioritise privacy and passwords
- Show your child how to create strong passwords and enable privacy settings.
- Remind them to only accept friend or follow requests from people they know in real life.
- Follow the law of the land and the app. For example, Facebook and Instagram only license their platforms for those over 13. Countries like Australia has introduced a minimum age to access social media.
8. Model the behaviour you want to see
Be the example: use the internet responsibly, avoid oversharing, and treat others with kindness online. Let them see you take breaks from screens and enjoy offline time too. Encourage respectful screen habits across generations, including grandparents too, as they may help take care of the children. Do not post photos of your children without their permission, and never post photos of other people’s children, not even your nieces or nephews.
Online safety isn’t something that can be taught overnight. It requires repeated reminders and close monitoring, in a non-threatening manner. Through gentle yet firm guidance, children can learn to be internet savvy and avoid potential predators and scams. Children with good online ethics are less likely to fall victims or to become bullies. They are our future – let us guide them to be smart and secure digital defenders.
