The term “strawberry generation” has been used more often in recent years to describe young people who are seen as easily hurt, quick to give up, or unable to cope with pressure. Like strawberries, the label suggests they look appealing but bruise easily. However, labels such as this can often be unfair – and even harmful – when used without understanding where it came from and what today’s children are really facing.
Where did the term come from?
The phrase is believed to have originated in East Asia in the late 1990s and early 2000s, particularly in Taiwan, to describe younger workers who struggled with workplace stress compared to older generations. Over time, it spread across the region, including Malaysia, becoming shorthand for emotionally fragile children and young adults.
What began as a social observation has since hardened into a stereotype. Instead of asking why children seem more sensitive today, the label often places blame on the child or on “modern parenting”, without considering the wider picture.
Why do children today seem more “fragile”?
Children today are growing up in a very different world from their parents. In Malaysia, pressure to succeed often starts early. Long school hours are followed by tuition, weekend enrichment programmes, and co-curricular activities, all building towards major milestones such as school assessments and the SPM. Many children feel they are constantly being evaluated, not just in school but at home and within the wider family.
Parenting styles also play a role. Well-intentioned but overly protective approaches may limit opportunities for children to develop independence and problem-solving skills, leaving them less confident in handling setbacks.
Too early or excessive digital exposure without adequate parental monitoring adds another layer. Social media and class WhatsApp groups can amplify comparison, whether it is exam results, achievements, or perceived “progress”. A small setback can feel much bigger when children believe everyone else is coping better as compared to them. “Why am I the only one struggling?” might be a common question, not realising that actually there are others out there who feel the same way.
At the same time, many children are now more aware and savvy at being able to name their emotions. They may talk about feeling anxious or overwhelmed – not because they are weaker, but because emotional awareness is more accepted than in previous generations.
Raising resilient children
Resilience does not mean ignoring emotions. It means learning how to recover, adapt, and keep going – with support. Parents can help by allowing children to face age-appropriate challenges. If a child forgets to prepare for a spelling test or struggles with a co-curricular commitment, resist stepping in immediately. Instead, guide them to reflect, plan, and try again.
In many multigenerational households, this can be challenging. Parents may encourage independence, while grandparents intervene out of love. Open communication between adults helps ensure children receive consistent messages about learning from mistakes. When parents acknowledge feelings while still encouraging responsibility, children learn that emotions are acceptable and challenges are manageable.
Beyond the home, the wider community also plays a crucial role. Extended family members, teachers, and schools can support resilience by reinforcing similar values: allowing manageable setbacks, offering guidance rather than quick fixes, and normalising effort and failure as part of growth. When children hear the same messages at home, in school, and within the community, they are more likely to internalise healthy coping skills.
Another key factor is to model positive behaviour. Children learn resilience by watching adults handle stress. When parents, educators, and caregivers talk calmly about challenges, admit mistakes vulnerably, and demonstrate healthy coping strategies, children absorb these lessons.
Finally, focus on effort rather than outcomes. Praise persistence, problem-solving, and improvement – not just results. This helps children see setbacks as part of learning, not personal failures; and understand that life is richer as a continuous process of growing and learning from experiences.
Do’s and don’ts for parents
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Children today are not broken or more fragile; they are growing up in a complex, fast-moving world. Sensitivity and resilience are not opposites – they can exist together. With guidance, patience, and trust, parents can raise emotionally aware children who are capable of facing life’s challenges, without the weight of an unhelpful label.
