Work & Family Striking A Balance

Jamil is determined to put in the extra hours necessary to exceed his bosses’ expectations; that promotion is just within his grasp. Sara works in an international organisation and she is on call 24/7 for troubleshooting and consulting. Because of advanced communication technology, Ravin can work anytime, anywhere – from home, from his car, even when he is on vacation with his family.

Jamil, Sara and Ravin have one thing in common: they are all parents of young children and part of the trends we see among Malaysian families today.

With 47% of Malaysian women in the workforce, the number of dual-income families is increasing. 70% of families today consist of nuclear families – those comprising only parents and children, without the support of extended families. More and more couples are being identified as the ‘sandwich generation’ where they care not only for their young children, but their ageing parents as well.

“Couples today want to achieve satisfying careers without neglecting or jeopardising the well-being of their families,” says Dr Anjli Doshi-Gandhi, Director of Family Development, National Population and Family Development Board Malaysia. “However, with longer working hours and greater work commitments, they find themselves spending less time with their children and spouses. As a result, sometimes the families suffer.”

Balancing work and family can be quite a task – both are important and both demand great time and effort. Devote too little time to your family and you find your self saddled with guilt, stress, conflict and alienated from your spouse and children. Spend less time at work and your career suffers. So, how can you strike a good work-life balance?

Finding Your Personal Balance

Work-life balance is not about splitting equal time between work and family, nor is it necessarily about cutting back on your work hours. It is different for each individual because we all have different priorities, different lifestyles and are at different stages of life. And it will change – what works for you today may not work a year from now. The key lies in deciding what is important to you now and adjusting your work and family life accordingly.

1. Set your priorities

   According to Dr Anjli, setting your priorities is the first step to a well-balanced life. Figure out what you want your priorities to be, not what other people think they should be. “What is most important to you in life? List four to five top priorities. These are the core things you cannot neglect. You only have so much time, so do not clutter your life with things that do not matter,” she says.

2. Know your roles

   Work-life balance is not just about your role as an employee and a parent to your children. It is also about being a husband or wife to your spouse, a son or daughter to your parents, a sibling and a friend. What do these roles entail and how can you best fulfill each one? Do be realistic with your expectations.

3. Creative parenting

   “Make sure that the time you do spend with your loved ones is quality time,” stresses Dr Anjli. “For instance, with your children, make effort to think of ways to make parenting fun – it is a joy, not a burden! Keep in touch with your children and instil positive messages and values in them during your time together. Be fully present and give them your undivided attention.”

4. Stress management

   Being stressed causes you to be careless with your health, and this affects your ability to care for your family and perform effectively at work. Identify your stress points and find ways to cope effectively. Keep things in perspective – not everything is a major crisis. Remind yourself to stay relaxed in stressful situations. Take care of yourself by eating sensibly and exercising. Avoid turning to caffeine, nicotine or alcohol to cope with stress. Set aside one day a week for activities you enjoy, with people you love.