In today’s fast-paced and ever-changing world, the adage “It takes a village to raise a child” is more relevant than ever. Navigating the complexities of modern parenting can be overwhelming, making the value of a strong support network – comprising family, friends and community – indispensable. A robust network offers essential guidance to parents and plays a crucial role in the overall development and well-being of children.
Role of community support
Datuk Dr Zulkifli Ismail, Chairman of the Positive Parenting Programme, underscores the profound impact that community support has on children’s physical and emotional health. “Children thrive when they grow up in a supportive environment,” he explains. “A robust network provides diverse role models, emotional security and a sense of belonging.”
Dr Zulkifli emphasises that parents with a dependable support system are better equipped to handle the challenges of raising children. “Parenting can be overwhelming without adequate help. Support networks – whether they include family, friends, or community groups – offer practical assistance and emotional backing. This reduces parental stress, which directly affects children’s well-being. Less stressed parents are more patient, attentive and nurturing.”
The health benefits for children within a well-supported community are significant. “Communities often exchange valuable information about nutrition, childcare and health practices, leading to better-informed decisions and healthier lifestyles for children. The collective wisdom of a supportive network can significantly enhance the overall well-being of a child.”
Emotional and social development
Clinical psychologist Dr Serena In echoes Dr Zulkifli’s sentiments, highlighting that a child’s social and emotional development is deeply influenced by the presence of a strong support network. “Children learn social skills and emotional regulation through interactions with various adults and peers in their community,” she says.
In Malaysia, the family unit remains a cornerstone of society, providing children with a nurturing environment through extended family support. “This environment can offer additional resources during times of need, preventing feelings of isolation,” Dr In notes.
Research has shown that children who maintain a close connection with their parents throughout their formative years tend to be more resilient and experience healthier overall development. These children are more likely to learn from their mistakes, seek help when needed, regulate their emotions effectively, and perform better academically compared to those who lack supervision.
Dr In also points out that when children observe their parents receiving support and validation from others, it reinforces their own sense of security and self-worth. “A child who sees their parents surrounded by a caring network understands that they are part of a larger, supportive community. This not only boosts their self-esteem but also helps them develop a strong sense of identity.”
Support networks are invaluable during tough times. Dr In emphasises: “No family is immune to challenges, whether they are financial difficulties, health issues, or personal crises. A strong support network can provide resources, advice and emotional support during tough times. This collective resilience helps children feel safe and secure despite the difficulties.”
Navigating difficult times
The presence of a support network can make all the difference when facing difficult circumstances. Dr In explains: “When you have a support network, you don’t feel so alone going through difficult times.” Even amidst hardships, practical support from an extended network can be invaluable.
For example, during times of chronic illness, the loss of a spouse, or other life-changing events, a strong support system can help ease the pain and stress. Caregiving support, providing meals, or helping with tasks like house cleaning can significantly impact someone going through a challenging experience. By sharing responsibilities, the burden becomes lighter.
Financial support from a network can also be a lifeline, providing access to essential resources such as professional help, medical needs, or educational activities. Socially, having additional positive role models in an extended support network can fill gaps within the family. For instance, an only child might benefit from the guidance of older peers they trust, helping them make wise personal choices.
Spiritually, being part of a group that believes in positivity and a higher power can also provide a sense of unity and purpose. Dr In notes that such groups often come together in prayer, offering collective support during times of need.
Government initiatives
The importance of support networks extends beyond individual families to the broader society. YB Dato’ Sri Hajah Nancy Shukri, Minister of Women, Family and Community Development, explains, “A support network is important because it provides parents with the emotional, social and practical support they need to navigate the challenges of raising a family. It helps reduce stress, fosters a sense of community, and allows parents to share knowledge and resources. Moreover, a strong support network can significantly improve the well-being of both parents and children, contributing to stronger, more resilient families.”
The Minister encourages parents to build their networks by actively participating in community activities. “Joining parent support groups, volunteering at your child’s school Parent-Teacher Association (PIBG), or engaging with community centres are great ways to connect with others,” she advises. Leveraging online platforms and social media can also help parents share experiences and support each other.
The government plays a crucial role in creating an environment where families can thrive. “This involves implementing policies that ensure access to affordable childcare, parental leave, and healthcare services,” says Dato’ Sri Nancy. “We also focus on fostering an inclusive community by supporting initiatives that promote work-life balance, family-friendly workplace policies, and educational programmes that emphasise the importance of family values. Our goal is to empower parents with the resources and knowledge they need to raise healthy, happy children in a supportive community.”
The Minister elaborates on several key policies and programmes designed to support families, including:
- Childcare subsidies and support: Financial aid is provided to families living below the poverty line to ensure adequate care for their children. Income tax relief is also available for childcare or kindergarten fees.
- Parental leave: From 1 January 2023, women in the private sector have been entitled to 98 days of maternity leave, and paternity leave has been extended from three days to seven days.
- Family counselling services: Various agencies offer counselling and support for families facing challenges, including marital issues, parenting difficulties and mental health concerns.
- Women’s empowerment programmes: Through the Women’s Development Department (JPW), initiatives are run to support women’s participation in the workforce, helping them balance career and family life.
- Community outreach programmes: Pusat Sokongan Sosial Setempat (PSSS) by the National Welfare Foundation of Malaysia (YKN) provides platforms for parents and children to share experiences, access resources and seek support.
Dato’ Sri Nancy acknowledges that reaching families in rural and remote areas remains a significant challenge. “There is also a need to address cultural and societal norms that may discourage parents from seeking help or using available resources,” she adds. “In many cases, there is still a stigma associated with asking for help or admitting there is a problem, especially through counselling.”
A strong support network is invaluable for both parents and children. For parents, it alleviates stress, provides practical help, and enhances overall well-being. For children, it offers a rich environment for social and emotional development, a sense of security, and resilience against adversity. The collective effort of a community is vital in nurturing the next generation. By investing in and fostering these networks, we are investing in a healthier, happier future for all.
| Creating a cohesive family environment
Dr Serena In offers some practical tips for parents on how to effectively communicate with extended family members and friends to create a cohesive and supportive environment for their children: Decide together: As a couple, start by discussing and agreeing on the kind of environment you want for your family. Consider which side of the family to involve and to what extent, as this might vary depending on your backgrounds. Set boundaries: It’s important to establish healthy boundaries about the type of support and help you need from others. Clear boundaries prevent misunderstandings and help maintain harmony. Share your values: Make sure to communicate your family’s values and priorities to extended family members and friends. Encourage them to ask questions if they’re unsure, rather than making assumptions. Keeping communication open helps everyone feel comfortable discussing difficult or sensitive topics like parenting challenges, losses, or relationship issues. Lead by example: Show others how you’d like to communicate with your children, and gently encourage them to do the same, if possible. However, understand that you can’t control everything that happens around your children. After spending time with extended family, it can be helpful to have a debrief with your kids to clarify any confusion and ensure everyone is on the same page when it comes to understanding and accepting differences. |
With, YB Dato’ Seri Hajah Nancy Shukri, Minister of Women, Family, and Community Development,
Dr Serena In, Clinical Psychologist & Committee Member, Malaysian Society of Clinical Psychology (MSCP),
Datuk Dr Zulkifli Ismail, Chairman, Positive Parenting Programme
