Managing A Developing Child

Children become aware of their surroundings and can’t stop enquiring or moving about especially during the first few years of life. You would want to restrict his movements due to reasons like his safety, the need for discipline or even lack of patience. However, you would not want to jeopardise his development due to restrictions. Here are some pointers on how you can manage your developing child’s behaviour.

1. Set Realistic Expectations

   Developmental milestones are good to keep in mind when managing your child’s behaviour. Sometimes parents forget that children can only perform certain things after reaching a certain age. Based on the developmental milestones, a five-month-old baby cannot be expected to follow directions but certain behaviours can be shaped such as their sleeping patterns. In addition to that, young children are also sensitive to changes in expression, thus before your child learns language, you can use expression as a form of shaping their behaviour. For example, when they do something that is dangerous or undesirable, give them a firm “No” with appropriate gesture to tell the child that this action is not acceptable. However, more concrete molding and training can begin by the time he reaches 18 months.

2. Balancing Love and Limits

   Both may seem contradictory but actually they are very much related to one another. Children need to know that their parents’ love is unconditional but with appropriate boundaries. Giving in to your child constantly is not an expression of love. Neither is being authoritarian and carrying an iron fist appropriate in managing his behaviour. Be firm and establish reasonable rules and consequences of misbehaviours but do not forget to shower your kids with love too.

3. All Work, No Play?

   Playing is a great time for children to learn, encourage creativity, fantasy and role-playing. Symbolic play (i.e. ‘masak-masak’ or ‘house’) can help them understand the world better. You may feel uncomfortable about make-believe plays but these are actually part of growing up and building up their creativity. Avoid correcting your child when they are playing as such actions leads to limiting their imagination and are afraid of playing “incorrectly”. Work is also important in building his mental development. Giving him some meaningful and simple work like picking up his toys will teach him to be responsible, independent and also builds his self-esteem. He will also feel useful among the adults. Do always remember to praise your child when they complete the task given. This makes them feel good and proud of themselves.

4. Why? What? How?

   Children at the age of four and more usually cannot stop asking and enquiring about their surroundings. It is usually the period of time where parents may become impatient and may brush off these questions. However, you can encourage independence and problem solving in your child through guiding him rather than stepping in to the rescue. Find the answers together by looking up an encyclopedia, library or even the great big World Wide Web!