Break The Yelling Habit

You have a headache and your children are running amok, shrieking at the top of their lungs. You tell them twice to be quiet; they ignore you. So, you yell at them to, “Sit down and shut up!!!”

If you have been yelling at your children, you will know by now that it does not work. Yelling is not better; it is just … well, louder. Your children become desensitised to your yelling – the louder you go, the more they ignore you. You lose your voice, your blood pressure goes up and your home becomes a truly unpleasant place.

THE DOWNSIDE OF YELLING

Yelling makes children feel bad about themselves. When you yell, you may wind up saying hurtful things that can affect your child’s self esteem. Yelling is particularly hard on sensitive children and can cause them to become anxious and fretful.

HOW TO STOP YELLING

• What are your hot buttons?

  What causes you to yell? Is it your child’s defiance, his carelessness or simply his ignoring you? Sometimes, you get mad at things that have little to do with your child. For instance, are you more edgy after a hard day at work or after a long conversation with your mother-in-law? Knowing your sore spots and edgy times will help you manage them better.

• Walk away

  Take a time-out whenever you are tempted to yell at your child. Give yourself time to cool down and think: what do you want your child to learn from this? Anger may cause you to punish him based on how you feel and not on what he has done. Remember that punishment is not about letting off steam, but about what is acceptable behaviour and what is not.

• Speak calmly

  Return to your child after you have calmed down. Be firm and positive. Explain to him why his behaviour is unacceptable and how he can correct it. Be specific as to what you want him to do. If he is old enough, encourage him to figure out how he can correct the situation.