Are you proud parents of a bright 3-year-old, who also sometimes annoys you with his stubbornness to listen to what you say? No matter how you plead and ask, your child doesn’t pick up his toys, hates taking his bath and absolutely refuses to touch his vegetables! Parents are great models for children, as most children follow the “Monkey see, monkey do” concept. So it may not be altogether wrong to say that your son or daughter may have gotten her stubbornness from either one of you!
Monkey see, monkey do
In general, children tend to grow up to be a lot like their parents. From the time they are born, parents become children’s role models, which is why it is very important to instil good habits at an early age. Research carried out have shown that children who live with parents who smoke tend to grow up to be smokers themselves. Similarly, children who are raised amidst domestic violence would most likely to grow up to be hostile and aggressive as well.
On a lighter note, making sure you eat all your vegetables, instead of picking out the ones you don’t like, will also teach your children to finish up all their greens, whether they like it or not!
Role modelling
Role modelling can in fact be an extremely effective tool, if parents use it to their advantage. Parents only talk about disciplining their children, but fail to realise that they need to discipline themselves first. To be a good role model, parents need a lot of effort and self-control, to bring out the best in themselves and therefore in their children.
Children are much more likely to respect and listen to parents who do what they preach. When you wish for them to be tidy and to clean up after themselves, then you too, must ensure that you keep a clean and tidy environment yourself.
Listen to yourself
Are you often telling your children to do things but that you yourself can’t be bothered with? What makes you think your children will listen to you when you don’t carry out your own Dos and Don’ts? Kids are actually sensitive and smart enough to realise when their mum or dad is just preaching and when they are really practising what they say. Here are some things to look out for to ensure good behaviour in your children:
- Do what you say: Actions always speak louder than words; therefore, your actions will influence your child more than what you lecture. Always do yourself, what you expect them to do. This will ensure your children follow your footsteps and is more effective than actually forcing them to do something using fear or rewards.
- Rules are for everyone: House rules, such as cleaning up your own mess and keeping the place clean, should apply to all and not just the children. This teaches your child to respect and obey the rules, and he will naturally do accordingly instead of just following them out of fear.
- Teach by example: Young children especially, may find it difficult to understand concepts such as manners or respect. One way of teaching your child to always have good manners and to be respectful to others is by making sure you are respectful and minding your Please’s and Thank You’s when interacting with others!
- Confusing emotions: Children tend to be more confused about emotions. They may think that if you’re angry with them, you do not love them. Be clear with them and make sure they understand that although you may scold them when they do something wrong, it does not mean that you love them any less.
Identify all the positive things you can role model for your children, like self-respect and respecting others, patience, kindness, generosity and self-discipline. Instil good habits like eating healthily, reading to expand knowledge, as well as exercising for physical and mental health. Seeing is definitely believing, and what your children see from you, they will believe and practise!
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